I liked your poem 'tranquil at midnight....'. You have a nice way with words that is rare: direct, sensitive, softly rhythmic and unpretentious.
However, I found the very short line divisions - not as above but on the other page - rather odd.
I would have divided it up as follows:
'tranquil at midnight
and venus glitters high through blue dusty ink
night breeze leaves rattle over the cat's stare
soft scents whisper through the perfect night
the tiny gleam of night suns stretch above
in that congested cerulean vista..'
Anyway, that's just a personal preference. I think, as with most poetry, it would be best read aloud.
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John winstanley's Comments
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I wish you a very happy birthday and a fantastic celebration weekend!
However, I found the very short line divisions - not as above but on the other page - rather odd.
I would have divided it up as follows:
'tranquil at midnight
and venus glitters high through blue dusty ink
night breeze leaves rattle over the cat's stare
soft scents whisper through the perfect night
the tiny gleam of night suns stretch above
in that congested cerulean vista..'
Anyway, that's just a personal preference. I think, as with most poetry, it would be best read aloud.
Regards,
Margaret
Your work is great. Would like to learn a lot from you.
Regards
Manashimaya
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